Couples therapy

Couples therapy for foreigners in Barcelona

Center Pensées, an interntational therapy center in Barcelona, offers therapy for French-speaking couples living in Spain, in the Catalan capital.

As human beings, we are social beings and seek comfort in relationships with others. We all strive to establish and maintain happy and healthy relationships with others. Being in a loving relationship can provide a sense of safety and security as well as a place of nurturing and unconditional love. However, there can also be times in the relationship when we feel insecure, unbalanced and unsafe

Communication through couple therapy

The relationship can be viewed as a system, with communication being the key to how information is processed within the system. The system can be described as functioning when communication processes are working well and individual needs are validated as well as the needs of the relationship itself.
Systems theory describes how relationships will always seek to maintain some form of homeostasis and conflicts can arise when homeostasis is disrupted. In relationship terms, this can mean that one partner prioritizes their own needs over the needs of the relationship.

The Gottman Method of couples counseling describes the following 4 factors as sources of conflict in any romantic relationship potentially leading to breakup:

1. Criticism: criticizing your partner on a personal level rather than criticizing their behavior, which can make your partner feel attacked
2. Contempt: maintaining a moral superiority over your partner and behaving disrespectfully
3. Defensiveness: trying to reverse blame when it is presented by a member of the couple
4. Communication Refusal: when one member of the couple withdraws completely or stops communicating with their partner. (This can also be a traumatic response if there is a history of trauma from previous relationships)

The first step may be to see if you can identify any of these patterns in your relationship and see if they can be resolved by taking the time to discuss the problem. Indeed, all relationships go through periods of transition such as moving together to a new city like Barcelona, starting a new job or moving to a new country. The transition can cause a temporary imbalance in the relationship that can be resolved over time.

The therapeutic practice for couples: a neutral and healthy environment

If you feel the need to be in front of a neutral person – such as a therapist – to provide a safe space to discuss behavioral and communication patterns, it may be helpful to seek the help of a couples counselor to learn ways to positively manage those “factors” in the relationship that have the potential to lead to a painful breakup.

The couples’ therapy practice offers a healthy, neutral and disinterested environment for both partners. The therapist is there to listen to each party and facilitate dialogue in order to re-establish an environment that is conducive to good understanding and family development.

References:

Bateson, G. (1972). Toward an ecology of mind. New York NY: Ballantine
The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/