Couples therapy

Couple therapy for French speakers in Barcelona

Centre Pensées, French therapy center in Barcelonaoffers therapy for French-speaking couples living in Spain, in the Catalan capital. 

As human beings, we are social beings and seek comfort in relationships with others. We all strive to establish and maintain happy, healthy relationships with others. Being in a loving relationship can provide a sense of safety and security, as well as a place of nurturing, unconditional love. However, there can also be times in the relationship when we feel insecure, unbalanced and in danger.

Communication through couple therapy

The relationship can be seen as a system, with communication being the key to how information is processed within the system. The system can be described as functioning when communication processes work well, and individual needs are validated as well as the needs of the relationship itself.
Systems theory describes how relationships will always seek to maintain some form of homeostasis, and conflicts can arise when homeostasis is disrupted. In relationship terms, this can mean that one partner prioritizes their own needs over the needs of the relationship.

The Gottman method of couples advice describes the following 4 factors as sources of conflict in any love relationship, potentially leading to break-up:

1. Review criticizing your partner on a personal level rather than criticizing his or her behavior, which can make your partner feel attacked
2. Contempt maintaining moral superiority over one's partner and behaving in a disrespectful manner
3. Defensive spirit Trying to reverse blame when it is presented by a member of the couple
4. Refusal to communicate When one member of the couple withdraws completely or stops communicating with his or her partner. (This can also be a traumatic response if there is a history of trauma from previous relationships.)

Perhaps the first step is to see if you can identify any of these patterns in your relationship and see if they can be resolved by taking the time to discuss the problem. Indeed, all relationships go through periods of transition such as moving in together to a new city like Barcelona, starting a new job or moving to a new country. Transition can temporarily cause an imbalance in the relationship, which can then be resolved over time.

The therapeutic practice for couples: a neutral and healthy environment

If you feel the need to be in front of a neutral person - such as a therapist - to provide a safe space to discuss behavioral and communication patterns, it may be useful to seek the help of a couples counselor to learn ways of positively managing those "factors" in the relationship that have the potential to lead to a painful break-up.

The therapeutic practice for couples offers a healthy, neutral and disinterested environment for both partners. The therapist is there to listen to each party and facilitate dialogue in order to re-establish an environment conducive to good understanding and family development.

References:

Bateson, G. (1972). Toward an ecology of mind. New York NY: Ballantine
Institut Gottman: https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/